First a reminder, especially for all the 1w2s – the Enneagram isn’t flattering, and neither are the characters of Crazy Ex Girlfriend functioning at healthy levels. So remember that the Enneagram is a tool to recognise our tendencies under different kinds of stresses, and not a description of our inner most selves. And that CEG is a satirical exaggeration of some of the worst aspects of behaviours that all of us have.
If it helps, 1w2s, you get the most defining song of the series, the very theme song from Season 1, to kick us off: West Covina
Surprised? There’s no way that Rebecca Bunch is a 1, the whole story is driven by her acting on impulse with no regard for ethics or anybody else’s feelings. So how can the song which lays out her first, impulsively stalkerish move across the country have anything to do with the behaviour of a controlled, ethics-prioritising 1w2?
1s can go to 7ish behaviours when they’re in a good place, and 4ish behaviours when they’re under pressure. So they have the capacity to identify and act on their feelings, and to take risks without over-analysing the consequences. This song is not about healthy behaviour, but you can see both of these elements in it, and they aren’t inherently terrible things. Rebecca realises the drudgery and inauthenticity of the life that she’s living and responds to an outside prompt to make some radical changes: so far, so excellent advice for a 1 in the very common situation they create of living a life of burdens they don’t feel that they freely chose. Get in touch with your inner 4 and wallow in your own feelings for a bit, work out what feels like a distraction from your goals. And then reeeeel that wallowing back in and work out what you can do about it. And the lesson from 7 for 1s is that it’s OK to enjoy what you’re doing. Rebecca takes a pay cut to escape the life her mother has told her she should be leading. She’s still got a job, but she has taken her first step along a path towards taking control of her own life. The joy of an optimistic redesign is something that you can tap into when you need it, but a lot of 1w2s only access that attitude when they are drunk. You don’t have to get drunk to be spontaneous, 1s.
BUT anyway. Obviously this song is about a terrible horrible life decision, made for the wrong reasons. And there is one key lesson in it: please, stop lying to yourself!
You know what rhymes with ‘gosh’? It’s not ‘West Covina.’ And you know what drives your decisions in life? It’s not morality. You’re conscious of morality, sure. You sometimes feel as if you make great sacrifices to stay on the path of righteousness. And how does that sense of sacrifice make you feel? Oh that’s right… resentful. Just like 8s and 9s, 1s feel a lot of anger. And then they repress it, and it bubbles just under the surface. And to justify feeling it, or expressing it, you have to see other people as having done something wrong, while you stay in the clear. And that’s when the lies start. They’re not lies of expression, they’re lies of perception. You start to see the world in a way that is warped by your sense of a burning injustice. It’s not like Gandhi, that sense of burning injustice, it’s like a child who dropped part of their ice-cream, and now their sister’s ice-cream is bigger, and IT’S NOT FAIR.
It’s good to feel your feelings. It’s good to recognise that you’re not living the life that you want to be living. It’s fine to notice that other people have things that you want for yourself. You can have those things too. But to get them you have to see how you keep ending up in the wrong place. That might mean learning to say ‘no’ at work, and not signing up for every volunteering opportunity. It might mean ending relationships that don’t nourish you, and admitting where your feelings actually lie (sober, you need to do this sober). It might mean skiving a social engagement that you really don’t want to attend, so that you can work on your novel. Whatever it means, it won’t come naturally.
If you need motivation to recognise your own anger and take decisions that feel ‘selfish’ then here’s a picture of a 1w2 spiralling into their repressed rage:
Don’t be a good person, 1w2s. Try just being a plain old human person for a bit.
The Enneawot 